Goldman Sachs Redux

December of last year, I bought over 100 options on GS, at strike of 205. It was an attempt at an oversold market rally and an attempt at glory. Yesterday, and this is the second time this has occurred, I accidentally placed the wrong order of 50 call options on ID. The first accident was with MO. But as with the first case, I was thinking about going all out, but decided against it; yet, I did it anyways, just not consciously. So I sat by the computer and even called my friend to see if I should exit my trade. In the meantime the Dow was down only 288 points and as we talked it went south of the border. I decided to wait, currently, and the Dow dropped over 500 points and ID was down over a buck at one point.

I bought because it is trading close to its 52 week low, the CEO bought 750,000 shares at $13, the book value according to value line is 14.5, was trading at 15 before the more recent downleg in this down market, it is growing with new orders, as well as preexisting, which implies good execution on its takeovers, and there is going to be a catalyst in the earnings announcement, Oct 29. But I bought the Jan 09 options giving the company time to prove itself in this market environment. And truthfully it should rally, because cheap stocks don't remain cheap for very long.

Like last December, it is obvious the earnings will be good and it is obvious I made no money all year. Cramer mentioned buying GS was a dumb idea, and this time he didn't say ID was bad, but too speculative in this environment. But then again he was caught unaware concerning energy, finance, and just about everything and I mention it from his actions, not his words. Also, though not jealous of my friends like last year, I realized that for me to make money I need to take on risk, which I have not done and has cost me money by doing a little of this and a little of that, but nothing of merit. So there are similarities. And the last one being, I think I am bored and possibly wanted to get my heart rate up. I haven't read Cramer's thoughts in awhile and now am constantly going to his blog, just like last year and mentioning him in mine.

I would like to think I have grown as a trade/investor. But as I turn 31 today, I have doubts.
Especially since most of my options this year paid off well, but once again it was just a little of this and a little of that. It's when I make a decision that matters, do I shake.

The positives as I see them are: AGM, LGF, SRS would have returned handsome returns already if I had enough confidence in myself. But I think, ultimately, I cannot get my hands around risk. Maybe risk is a girl to me - uncontrollable. And maybe, as Tony Soprano says, "I want total control" and thereby suffer anxiety attacks.